you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
