Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...

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(404): View more from Georgia

Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?

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(513): View more from Ohio

NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...

(1-513): View more from Ohio

God I fucking love America.

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(647): View more from Ontario

They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.

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(303): View more from Colorado

and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster

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(616): View more from Michigan

the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.

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(916): View more from California

If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present

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(330): View more from Ohio

First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.

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(404): View more from Georgia

This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited

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