Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize