You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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