I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
