That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
