I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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