I feel like abortions should bother me more
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
handjob tips. give me some.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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