This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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