I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize