Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
God gave him joint rollers for hands
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
