batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
