the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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