Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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