Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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