Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
