I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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