dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize