i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize