i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
