Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize