Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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