wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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