Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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