Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
