It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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