I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
