i used baking grease as lip gloss
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize