i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
