The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
