Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize