I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize