dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
