atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
