and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
