it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
