So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
