The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
