Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
