$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
