i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
