Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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