Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
