for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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