Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
