they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
50% drunk capacity currently
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
