Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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