Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
