i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
