I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
