is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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