And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
