please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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