i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
