i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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