he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
