We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
