im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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