He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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