she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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