Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
