you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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