i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
