How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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