Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
