Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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