Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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