Can Purell be used as lube?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
