Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
