Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
