It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I forgot wine drunk hurts
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
