walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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