Don't you send me to vm
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
